Yes, I have joined the dark side. I feel so bad inside, like someone took my guts out, stomped all over them, and tried to put them in backwards. It’s a feeling of betrayal and I hope it doesn’t reach regret. The day I opened up my new laptop, Jessica (my ex-laptop) wouldn’t talk to me, wouldn’t even look at me, and all that drama led to me not sleeping well. I woke up so many times during the night thinking if I made a mistake, if I should go back to Jessica and ask for forgiveness, or if I should just move on with Veronica and forget the past. Whatever I do, Jessica, I’m sorry. It’s me, not you.
Good afternoon my custards and I’m sure all of you are wondering why last week, I was MIA. No need to worry anymore, I didn’t quit or bail out on the divas. I was in the beautiful country of Oman for my cousins wedding and what a splendid week it was. Oman is such a lovely, soothing place where one can relax and forget about all things negative while gazing at the gorgeous mountains. We also had karak-flavored ice-cream, which was so delicious I couldn’t help but have three. I got all the divas gifts and I don’t know if they actually ‘liked’ them or thought it was incredibly strange to bring back candles, halwa, and other odd gifts. Oh well, a ‘thank you’ isn’t so bad but X-Grande Latte, I expect a lit-up candle and coffee in your new coffee mug soon.
So using this laptop makes me feel so much younger. It’s like switching suspenders for a colorful leather belt or wearing colored pants instead of dull beige khakis. Even though it’s faster, more reliable, and looks more like 2013, it still isn’t Jessica. Jessica was hurt, broken, and sometimes smelled like rotten cabbage but she would never disappoint. She did let out sparks from time to time so I decided to head down to the nearest electronic store and bought Veronica for a good price and got a hard-disk for free which made purchasing Veronica a day to remember. so people, met Veronica, my new friend and hopefully we get along well.
The new issue is still underway but unfortunately people aren’t replying as fast and promptly as the last set of people for the previous issue. I have re-sent email after email and am still waiting but that’s nothing new. One positive thing is that with this issue, I’m interviewing many different and interesting people (not that the ones previously featured aren’t interesting). So to the people I’m emailing, if you want to stay interesting to me, please reply quicker. Regards, Man Outnumbered.
So when I came back from Oman, I was tanned, lost more weight, got a new laptop, but one thing didn’t change. Coffee downstairs is still burnt (I’m still not sure if it’s ‘burnt’ or ‘burned) I expected them to learn by now that drinking coffee that tastes like oil isn’t nice (No, I haven’t tasted oil but I hear it’s heavy on the stomach). I wouldn’t mind making my own coffee at the office but the fact that I can get coffee brought up to the office where I don’t have to move from the chair is always tempting. Call me lazy but having coffee given to you in the morning when you’re half asleep could possibly be the most incredible moment of your day.
A new interesting thing that’s going on in the office is that there is random elevator music being played. We have no idea where it’s coming from or who has the decency to play elevator music in the morning but it sure is soothing. Even though it’s not the perfect ‘work music’, you feel like you’re in a lobby of a fancy hotel in the south of France. We did try turning it off but that was a fail, they just turned it back on. We wouldn’t mind music but we need something to work with, like rock, hip-hop or something a little less sleepy.
So that is all, my custards. See you next week and don’t forget to watch the video on our Instagram!
Adnan Al-Timimi is the only male editor in the female dominated Khaleejesque workspace. Follow Adnan’s column to know more about his unique experience in this unusual territory.