Diwan

Man Outnumbered: Khaleejesque Outnumbered!

Adnan (1)All of a sudden, there’s a wintery vibe in the office. We started having vanilla latte’s instead of burned American coffee, it’s getting kind of chilly in the office, and we started talking about politics (I know it has nothing to do with winter). We also got a surprise visit from a past intern, we’re slowly getting kicked out of the office (you will see how in this weeks video on Instagram), but some things do not change. We still have the elevator music played outside our office. Seriously, who thought it was good ‘work music’? It was soothing in the beginning but falling asleep every 5 minutes is not ok.

Good morning my amigos (not a random fruit or vegetable this time) and welcome to the 35th edition of Man Outnumbered. We’ve been through a lot you and I over the past 35 weeks. I feel old. Anyways here’s what happened this week and we’ll start with the surprise visit by BY. BY was an old intern who didn’t usually say the right things at the right times but that’s what kind of made him who he is. For example, BY would sometimes be a little too honest, guess the wrong age, and comment comments that shouldn’t be commented. With an office of 6+ women, that isn’t a good thing BY. You did good by bringing us homemade cheesecake (filled with full cream butter, milk, sugar which are all very, very bad for dieting) so I tried enjoying my slice really slowly without feeling guilty, which didn’t work.

So apparently all the people who weren’t replying for features in our new issue suddenly all replied together. I don’t know if all them will planning this together, if they read my previous column where I complained about this, or if they felt bad, OR if me sending them emails asking for them to reply made them feel bad. Whatever it was, I’m glad I did it. The issue is in its final stages, we’re submitting work to X-Grande Latte and Captain, and even though it may take sometime to put all together with Critic’s fantastic skills, it will still be 100 times better than the previous issue, I guarantee it.

You might be wondering why I chose such a title, Khaleejesque Outnumbered. The fact is that we’re slowly getting kicked out of the office by our ‘neighbors’ who aren’t really your neighbors because your neighbors wouldn’t hang around in your living room or order food and have it in your house, would they? The divas and I have been feeling pressured over the fact that we can’t walk, relax, take our time without feeling any pressure in our office without smelling pizza, falafel, or some things you just shouldn’t eat in the morning. Ok fine falafel is ok but pizza?

A funny thing has been going on for quite sometime but isn’t technically happening in the office. Whenever we call the coffee house downstairs for delivery, the person who answers has to be the most cheerful person in the world. You can imagine them having a huge mickey mouse smile on their faces when ordering on the phone. Funniest part is when they start talking, they introduce themselves like they would if they were on a talent show. “Hi, good morning, how are you? This is Jenna from XYZ coffee house, how can I help you?” That sounds really long and boring and takes about 6 whole seconds (I checked on my phone) and after I tell them my order, it takes about 40 seconds to order when it should only take 15. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I called and she said,”Hi this is Jenna from XYS coffee house. I live in Kuwait but was born and raised in Bolivia. I like swimming, horseback riding, and poetry. My favorite color is lime green and I have 3 pet squirrels. Can I interest you in some coffee?”

That’s all my amigos and don’t forget to check out this weeks video on Instagram and we really appreciated the feedback on last weeks video!

Adnan Al-Timimi is the only male editor in the female dominated Khaleejesque workspace. Follow Adnan’s column to know more about his unique experience in this unusual territory.

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