Diwan

Man Outnumbered: Too Much Heat, Not Enough Perspiration

Adnan (1)This week was filled with goodbyes, unbearable heat, an overcrowded office, and the fact that whenever a past diva comes to the office for a surprise visit, I have to sit politely in my chair when hugs and kisses are being shared. I’m not saying I’m dying for one, but a hug wouldn’t hurt. Man Outnumbered does not want to be ‘Oh So Very Outnumbered’ so divas, if you’re reading, I am waiting for my hug.

Good day my pretzels and what a hot week it has been eh? I wonder if it’s ok to wear shorts and flip-flops to the office. To pile on all the heat, the AC wasn’t working and even though it was only for a day, I could actually feel like I was in a sauna and may have lost weight. Our neighbours have perfect, cold AC and we have 600 degree heat so I’m sensing they don’t like us but if it continues, I’ll be getting my cap from 1999 with the tiny air fan.

So Plus-G came back from her vacation as well as Turban and it was the only day (and hopefully the last) where I was outnumbered 8 to 1! Imagine that, 8 to 1! That’s like one cute purring kitty surrounded by 8 Simba’s. There was no girly talk however, but there was a weird 30 minutes where our office was filled with jewelry. We’re talking about necklaces, bracelets, rings, and items I’ve seen for the first time. It was like being in Flavor Flav’s closet.

I think I cursed this issue by saying how easy and simple the last one was. People were replying quickly, work was getting done, and I had nothing to worry about. With this one unfortunately, I had to constantly re-send emails, warnings, threats, etc. Kidding, I didn’t threat anyone but it isn’t a bad idea is it? Nevertheless, this issue as usual will be a million times better than the last so stay tuned!

Nothing beats X-Grande Latte’s somewhat fascinating stories and tales that happen with her during the week. Some of the most random conversations start when she enters the office with a coffee mug in her left hand and 60 pound laptop bag in the other. Even though she comes in with her pretty tanned face all red and burned from the lovely hot weather, stories from her automatically change the office into a day-care where we’re the children and she’s the 75-year old lady with the classic stories of how the world should be a better place, “for you and for me and the entire human race.”

All of a sudden the divas and I find ourselves staring at each other with no intern to harass, give all the work to, and force them to bring us coffee and make us lunch. I’m joking, we don’t go that far but not having interns bring us back to point ‘a’. Do we bring in interns to help us finish off the issue or do we put on our masks and capes and fight our way to the printing press and get it done ourselves? Not having interns around makes the office a little quiet, with awkward silent moments but we all concentrate more with our work so I guess we don’t need any interns. Kidding!

So that’s what happened this week. You’ll be hearing more of Man Outnumbered next week with hopefully more X-Grande Latte tales and less girly activities. Take care my pretzels and have a splendid weekend!

Adnan Al-Timimi is the only male editor in the female dominated Khaleejesque workspace. Follow Adnan’s column to know more about his unique experience in this unusual territory.

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