Diwan

Man Outnumbered 2.0: Long Time, No See

TheMistress2And a long time it has been. I can feel my skin peeling off, random heartaches, headaches, abdominal pain, and the most incredible feeling of pain of all, sleep. All of this waiting for the right time to go see her. I can’t seem to find the right time to surprise her like I did a couple of weeks ago and might I add how incredible she was looking in an all-white dress?

Welcome readers to my new and improved column, Man Outnumbered 2.0 and this time talking all about The Mistress. I might mention how I miss the divas here and there but after leaving the Mistress some 4 months ago, the only thing on my mind was,”Why?” Like you, I still cannot believe I had it in me to leave such a marvelous and breathtaking figure in my life.

Ok, before this starts sounding like a Spanish soap opera, let’s talk about the divas. Problem is I didn’t even have the time to see them since I was busy getting used to my afterlife because that’s the best way to put it, really. I miss seeing them decide on what to order for lunch which usually ends up in three different restaurants arriving at the office, fortunately not at the same time because that would be awkward. I really like the new office and all the simple yet exquisite touches that make the office such a friendly environment.

Back to The Mistress then. God only knows when my next chance to see here comes along. I’ve been stuck here for months, imprisoned in a 4×4 chamber surrounded with individuals who are also being played as puppets, lab rats, hamsters on wheels (you get my point) I wonder if she even has the slightest idea of the daily pain and suffering I endure every single day while starting outside the window reminiscing on the days where she was a short walk away? Why not have The Mistress write a weekly column about me? Does that make me a master? Mister? What’s the word I’m looking for?

Desperate times call for desperate measures and I have never been as desperate as I’ve been these days. I will send her a life-size cardboard cutout of myself for her pleasure and I know that last part sounded so wrong. What do you think? A little too desperate? Should I get one of her? It’s 3:00 pm and I’ve had a long day so bear with me for the next couple of paragraphs.

I do plan on visiting her during the week and as a token of apology, I’ll bring some low-fat sandwiches, that was always her comfort food. What an exhausting week I’ve had and so I think it’s time to end this weeks column with a quote from Prince Charles who clearly explains that I can’t be the only one suffering at the ends of a mistress.

“Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress?”

Adnan Al-Timimi a.k.a Man Outnumbered is in a dilemma. Having a mistress can be risky but visiting her is an absolute delight. Follow his column to know more about his adventures with The Mistress.

Tags

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *