Diwan

Man Outnumbered 2.0: “Hello, how are you?”

TheMistress2

Being all alone this week sucked. I wasn’t around old, obnoxious, intolerable hierarchy the whole week, which meant one of two things: 1. They died and left me in peace or 2. They gave me a rare break but are still monitoring my every move. Whichever one it was, I loved it. What I didn’t love is that with every minute passing by, I feel The Mistress passing the other way. I think it’s time to make a move, a move that might hurt my future but as long as I get to see her everyday, I’m willing to make that sacrifice. Only problem is: What’s that sacrifice?

Hello everyone and welcome to this edition of Man Outnumbered 2.0 with your host with the most must-read column in literature history, Mr. Outnumbered. Ok, enough with the bragging. How can I be in the mood to brag about a column about a mistress? Someone who shouldn’t even exited shouldn’t be alongside your afternoon cup-of-tea and featured on such a successful column (again, sorry) She’s like a powerful drug, like a mix of LSD and cocaine (kids, if you’re reading this, look away now) which gives me a feeling of pure pleasure lasting for quite some time but when the effect fades off, it’s back to writing this column. That all changed because I had the rare chance of visiting The Mistress and I grabbed that chance from the throat even it meant losing my job. I couldn’t stand it anymore, I had to see her and I was confident that she felt the same way.

As I was on the way, I thought of turning back. What would happen if after all this talk and all these paragraphs and all the sleepless nights, I go in to surprise her with a visit and she gives me a cold reception? Maybe she doesn’t want to see someone anymore who left her out of the blue? I couldn’t back out, I had to see her, so I did and this is what happened:

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was like I was never there. I was there for a good 5 hours and all I got from her was, “Hello, how are you?” Seriously? Hello, how are you? Is that the best she can come up with? I was nervous the whole time and she starts off the conversation like we’re on an online chatting site. Even though it was a tough start, I stayed. I was enjoying myself on the inside but I was sure that she and the divas noticed how depressed, disheartened, and rejected I felt during those 5 hours because of a simple question that shouldn’t been asked in the first place, in my opinion. The reason why I’m being a little dramatic is because I felt like I was shot down to the lowest point possible. Luckily the divas were there to console me with coffee and lunch.

It was nice getting a day off and so I took that chance to see the divas and was so pleased X-Grande Latte was there. I also saw new diva Ramona, who is such a delight at the office. It felt just like the good ol’ times.

So that’s all for this week and make sure you tune in next week for more on The Mistress (I promise this time there won’t be a two-week absence).

Adnan Al-Timimi a.k.a Man Outnumbered is in a dilemma. Having a mistress can be risky but visiting her is an absolute delight. Follow his column to know more about his adventures with The Mistress.

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